Going Back to School

I've officially decided to start taking prereqs in the Summer for the OT program at IUPUI. I have 5 classes to take before I can start the program. The bad news: I have to retake statistics, which I took 7 years ago and that makes it too old; plus I have to get As in two classes that I didn't realize I had signed up for last year, which means I got Fs in those classes. I didn't know I had signed up for them until I got a bill after the semester was over! That means it was too late to withdraw with a "W." Stupid mistake, but it was a mistake - I wish they wouldn't hold me to it b/c that's not the kind of student I am.

Back to OT

Here we go again! I'm thinking of going back to school for Occupational Therapy...yet again. I'd rather take the fast track and be a nurse, but I don't do well with blood and needles, so that's probably not a good idea! This time I'm skipping Ivy Tech for prereqs since that is what screwed me up before when I was going to start the OT program. I'm so mad at myself! I could have started the OT program this year, but instead, I now have to wait until 2010. That seems so far away! I'll be 30 when I finish if I get in in 2010. Sigh. That seems so late to be starting over, although I know others have started over in new careers older than that. I just hate thinking that I've wasted my time so far. I know I haven't, but still...in some ways I feel I have. I guess I just wish I would have picked the right career the first time.
How can people expect an 18-year-old to choose a career anyway?

Getting Motivated

What motivates people in factories to go to work every day? I know the obvious answer: money. But what makes them able to get up in the morning? Some kind of satisfaction in the parts that they make going into cars, airbags and other various components? I'm having a hard time getting motivated to write anymore, and I think it's just because I don't love it. I love writing blogs because I can show my personality and I feel a certain freedom from blog writing, but formal writing is hard for me to get into. Even Journalistic writing is hard for me to get into. Am I in the wrong biz or have I just not found my perfect job? And how many perfect jobs are out there? I only know of a few people who love their jobs, who say it's a perfect match. That means it can be found, right? But how am I supposed to know what it is? Going to college didn't help me figure it out, and the average person has 4 to 6 careers in a lifetime (the numbers go all the way up to 9 depending on the stats you use, which I think is a bit much). So where do I get the motivation to keep going? Money is motivating, but I don't see it every day, which makes it a weak motivator. I need to feel good about my job every day - I need to see something that makes me feel good about it every day. Am I just being nieve or am I being hopeful? Is that too much to expect from a career?

I Love Brownie Edges

Who doesn't love brownie edges? A lot of people, it would seem from blogs about this brownie pan. It's from Baker's Edge, right here in Indiana, and it's creating quite a stir among brownie connoisseurs! My husband and I fight over the brownie corners every time we make 'em, so this seems perfect! The only downside is that it costs $35, plus shipping because no stores around my house carries it. Do I love the brownie edges that much? No, not that much, but enough to add it to my X-mas list!

Lovin' the Laptop

I heart my laptop. If I didn't have it, I wouldn't be blogging right now. For some reason I'm much more motivated to write when I can sit on the couch with my doggie next to me, dreaming. I wonder what she's dreaming about. Does she dream about chasing bunnies (which she's never seen)? Does she dream about running up and down the fence with the Huskie next door? What is there to dream about when you're a dog?

Oh, and I heart Friends, too. The fact that I like to watch old reruns rather than watch new TV shows means that I am somewhat close minded or at least scared to try new things. That's according to an article I just read in Psychology Today. I heart Psychology Today, too by the way. As well as just about any other magazine. I need a job reviewing new magazines. That would be the life. Ah.

Freelancing

I ended up quitting my job since they wouldn't let me freelance for them. Now I'm freelancing for my first "real" employer: Wiley Publishing. I'm also editing and writing for some Web sites, which is fun. I've been freelancing full time since Aug. 1. Some days I love it and other days I long for a cubical! I never thought I'd think that before. I definitely don't miss the commute and all the crazy people that are allowed to drive. I suppose every job has its ups and downs, even when you're your own boss.

I'm so bad, haven't been posting

It's time to get this thing up and running again. I hope. We got a puppy last weekend, but we had to give her back after only 5 days because Hazel (the resident Puggle) wasn't eating. I don't know what happened in the puppy mill she must have come from, but Hazel was so scared of the pup! The pup was so nice and normal...compared to Hazel. Except for the crying through the night. I don't understand how anyone has kids!

Kris has been busy-busy with school. It's a rare day when we get to talk for longer than a half hour. I'd like to go back to school, but then I would feel like I wasted 5 years of my life getting my other two degrees. Which I know is stupid in a way; if another person decided to change careers, I wouldn't say they were stupid for choosing the wrong career first. Of course, those people aren't me. Why are we always so hard on ourselves? I'm lazy, yet I'm hardest on myself. Shouldn't I be nice to myself since I'm so lazy?

A big fat "NO"

Well, I don't get to freelance for my current company. They're anticipating getting really busy in the fall, so they think they'll need me full time. So, now I need to decide whether to quit and try freelancing full time, which still scares me, or to keep doing the drive and the waiting around for work to come across my desk. At least I tried, I guess! It seemed like a good solution to me, and it sounded like the higher-ups thought so too, but changed their mind over the weekend. So now I need to make another decision...

I did make one decision though - I put my name on a wait list for a new Prius! Woo hoo!

Lying in Wait

It's amazing how employers can take so long to get back to you after their initial interview or meeting with you. I know they are busy, but they are human - they should realize that you are just waiting, and hoping, for them to call you. I asked my company if I could freelance for them, they said we'll get back to you in three days. Yesterday the three days was up, so I asked my boss. But his boss left early yesterday, so "tomorrow morning." Now it's "tomorrow morning," and in 5 minutes it'll be "tomorrow afternoon." Still no word. Nothing about we'll talk about it later, or we haven't forgotten. Nada. Employers want employees (potential and current) to be upfront and let them know the status of everything, but yet employers don't feel the need to extend that courtesy back to employees? That's not right. If I ever run my own business with employees, I'll at least make an effort to do what I want them to do. It all goes back to treat people how you want to be treated.

Still Confused

It's been a month since I've posted and I'm still facing the same dilemma, although with a slight tweak. Now I'm considering trying to freelance full time from home. It's a freeing and scary thought. What if I don't get any more work? (but yet I get to sleep in.) What if I get bored at home by myself? (although we could get a puppy for me to take care of, besides Hazel.) My biggest concern is money, and then boredom.
But, think of all the good things - sleeping in, going to doctor/dentist appts. whenever I want (I have a lot of those it seems), as many vacation days as I want (as long as I make up my work for those days). And, NO STRESSFUL COMMUTE! That's the biggie - I waste nearly two hours a day in my car, trying not to get hit. hmmm...
Plus, it wouldn't be forever, only until I can find a job on my side of town. But, how long will that take?

Career Change

How do you know when it’s time to change careers? I feel like I’ve chosen the wrong career. I enjoy writing and editing, but am I any good at it? It depends on who you ask. And there lies my conundrum. Journalism is a very subjective business – one person can think a piece of writing is excellent, while another can think the same piece is subpar. I don’t like that.

I like clear-cut rules. I like to know what’s right and what’s wrong. I’ve considered being a nurse – you pull the wrong cord – it can be a grave mistake. You pull the correct cord – everything’s fine. There’s no gray area there. Of course I’m sure nurses would say that there are gray areas, but at least for the day to day activities, there seems to be a clear right/wrong way to do things. The problem with the nursing idea is that I don’t like blood and bodily organs, and I have a shaky hand. I can’t draw a straight line and you expect people to want me to poke them with a needle? I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want Nurse McShaky pointing anything sharp at me!

I feel like I should do something in healthcare, because that’s where the money and job security is. But, if I’m not passionate about it and don’t enjoy it, won’t I just want to change careers again? But how do I know what I’m passionate about when there’s so many things I haven’t done? I just don’t know what to do.

Plus, the time and money it takes to go back to school is a factor. I already have a Master’s degree. If I go back to school for another degree, I’ll feel like I’ve wasted 5 years of my life. I’ll feel like I should have spent those 5 years on something in healthcare, something that I would have reaped more benefits from. But a lot of people start over. I don’t think of them as failures or wasting their lives, so why do I think that about my own life?

13.1 MILES!

I just completed my first mini-marathon! May I say a-woo-hoo!
Am I crazy? I just might be. I don’t love running by any means. Actually I can’t even feel like I can say “I ran the Indianapolis 500 mini marathon.” I didn’t run it. I jogged it and walked it. I think there’s a difference. Not in effort of course, but in time, talent perhaps. I did train … for a while last year. Then I got a new job in January and the training went out the window until a month ago. But you know what? I finished and I didn’t quit, cry or throw up (three things I really wanted to do at about mile 10). So, now I know I can do it! What else can I do? I thought my husband was crazy last year when he suggested we do a mini. But hey, I did it, so now I feel like there’s nothing I can’t do! It’s a great feeling.

eArThQuAkE!

An earthquake in Indiana. Weird. Isn’t it scary to think that the whole earth could shatter at any moment, quaking itself down into nothing? Now, I’m not sure if this is really possible, but to my 10-year-old mind, it could. Like a hard ball of old brown sugar at the bottom of the bag – you can pick it up and it stays balled up, but all you have to do is shake it or squeeze it and it falls apart. I believe in God, so I think that s/he could do the same to Earth: just shake us up a bit. Make us realize that we need to really LIVE and to try new things and be nice to people.

The Comfort Zone

Getting out of your comfort zone. How do we even get comfy anyway? Is it just that we’re lazy in some cases? I think so. We don’t want to work at getting comfortable. But why should we? Why would we want to work at something that is unpleasant? For instance, I’m an introvert. Everyone I work with is an extrovert. I feel like I need to conform, and not only because my co-workers tell me to. I’d like to be more extroverted, but what I consider rude, like interrupting other people’s conversations, is the norm in my work environment. I also think eavesdropping is rude and then commenting on what you’ve eavesdropped about is also rude. Am I living in another time? Is that the norm everywhere now? What happened to good manners? Waiting for your turn to talk? And, I’m not loud when I talk. I’m sorry, but I just don’t see the reason to talk loud enough for the person in the next room to hear. Maybe it’s because I value my privacy and I want to give others the same.

I think staying in my comfort zone is also a symptom of the fear to fail. Well, duh, right? We only want to do things that we are good at. I’m not good at talking to a lot of people at once. I can talk to my close friends and husband until their ears fall off, but I reserve that just for them! But why? Because I know that they won’t judge me? Actually, I know they’ll judge me; but I know they won’t stop liking or loving me because of what I say. So in my case, I guess I’m just afraid people won’t like me. But so what? I’ve had plenty of people not like me and I’ve survived.

Okay, maybe I am just lazy.

Got Bugs?

http://www.newsweek.com/id/73357

So, I love Newsweek. Maybe not love, but I like it better than Time. Just slightly. Just because of the fonts, really. I like the content better most of the time too; I’m not all about looks. Newsweek is just easier to digest than Time.

Speaking of digesting, the above link is an interesting story about how we are basically just a huge host for microscopic bugs in our small and large intestines, our stomachs, and a few other places (guys are so lucky). Ahem. Pretty damn nasty, eh? I already spend enough time thinking about the bugs I share my bed with, the ones that party on my eyelashes, and now I have to think about the bugs in my gut? (And, yes, I do have to think about it. They’re a part of me!) We have over one trillion critters in our body helping us break down toxins, make some vitamins and tell our immune system what’s going on. (So why am I “tsk-tsked” when I tell my doctor I don’t take vitamins when I’ve got critters makin’ ‘em for me?)

Many species of microbes live in the gut and some of them are “energy extractors” (Firmicutes) and another group are “gas guzzlers” (Bacteroidetes). Obese volunteers in a study had more Firmicutes than Bacteroidetes in their guts than lean volunteers acting as controls. So, basically once these obese volunteers started to lose weight, their balance of Firmicutes and Bacteroidetes changed to look more like the lean volunteers. Weight loss, not diet or exercise is what changed the balance. So, scientists are pondering, if you can change this balance without having to lose weight, maybe you’ll lose weight without having to do anything. Obviously, everything is still in research stages, but probiotics (Dannon yogurt crap and other nasty yogurt products; disclosure: I don’t like yogurt) could possibly be used for weight loss if the probiotics can alter the environment in your gut. Again, just pondering. So this is another way for overweight people to lose weight without having to work for it. Brilliant? I don’t know. It is awfully tempting. I’m not overweight, but I’m close (overweight Body Mass Index (BMI) = 25; my BMI = 24). If I could let little microbes do my work for me, that would be wonderful! I could spend that time I would have been exercising on the couch, where I belong!

So, humans are basically hosts for colonies of nastiness. I think anything en masse is gross, and having things en masse in my body is just plain wrong. And gross. But, these little boogers help us and there’s nothing we can do to get them out of our bodies. I suppose we could try to throw up our stomachs and clean them off and swallow them again like frogs do, but I hate throwing up – that’s pretty gross too.

Acceptance and Rejection (all in the same week!)

I've been rejected and accepted all in the same week! I submitted a short piece to Marriage Partnership, a Christian magazine, and got my rejection email Thursday. Yesterday, I received an acceptance email from Fountain Pen, an e-zine. Granted, MP is bigger than Fountain Pen, but you know what? It doesn't seem to matter to my little heart - I felt the same amount of emotion with both emails. Utter despair ("I'll never be a writer!") and utter felicity ("Woo hoo! Someone likes what I wrote!").

I've been rejected plenty of times, writer-wise, so I reasoned with myself that it's just another war scar - the life of a writer. But, my self-esteem plummeted for an afternoon, all because of an email someone I don't know wrote to me, rejecting me with an industry-speak form letter. Then I thought, why am I being so reactive? So what if that piece didn't get accepted? I can submit it elsewhere if I so choose, and I think I will. It's amazing how someone else's reaction, or action, can affect me so much. This is my life, I should choose my emotions. I shouldn't just act on other people's emotions. (I didn't come up with these thoughts on my own -- they're partly Buddhist philosophy.) So, instead of equating myself with being a writing loser, I realize I just learned a lesson - now I know what MP doesn't like, and I can try again, learning from my mistake.

Oh, and if you'd like, you can read Fountain Pen by clicking on the link to the right. I think it's a good Web site that will continue to grow.

Nicknames

Why do we give nicknames? To people, places, animals? This morning I called my dog Hazy-Boo. I don’t even know where that came from, it just slipped out of my mouth. I also call her Hazel-Basil, Big Bear, Hazy-Badazy and the list goes on. I guess we do it just to show that we know a person or an animal better? To show our relationship with them? My friend from elementary school, Laura, goes by Tabby, Ruesel, and a whole host of other nicknames (mostly given by her mom). Her mom calls Laura’s oldest sister Heiffer. Not too endearing.

My nickname from my husband is Sweet Pea (no explanation needed there, since I’m so sweet, right?). I call him Sweetie. My friend Adrienne (whose nickname is Addy), calls me Wee Wee, based off of my color guard nickname: Lee Lee. Adrienne also calls me Stinky Cheese, and I have no idea how or why that started. Let me reiterate: I do NOT smell like stinky cheese!

In 8th grade, my friend Wade and I decided we would give each other the longest nicknames we could think of. I was Leeannderthalpooster; he was Waderthaleethea. How the heck have I remembered those? I guess because nicknames are important to our identity over the years, and to our different social groups. Or, maybe because they are just fun.

Square Watermelons

Here’s a good example of thinking “in the box” to solve a problem. Nothing is impossible!

http://www.financialhack.com/2007/12/04/10145_lessons-of-the-square-watermelon.html

Even if God created something one way, it appears that people can alter his creation. Is this genius or blasphemous? Did God even create watermelons, or were the previous two sentences a moot point? (or, a “moo point,” according to Joey on Friends?)

Meet Hazel

My baby, Hazel.

She always has something in her mouth!

Hello and Welcome

Hello there,

My first post as an "official" blogger, just because I say so! Who says who's "official" anyway? People that we pay to tell us that?
Anyway, my plan is to share with the world my deep thoughts, and not-so-deep thoughts. Hopefully someone will find this interesting, and if not, that's okay. I'll feel better, getting everything out in the open, and aren't we all just looking to feel a little bit better anyway?